Sarah and James met on the old iron pier outside Casa Cipriani a few hours before 275 guests sat down inside, with the Brooklyn Bridge standing up the river behind them. James said later that he was overwhelmed by how beautiful Sarah looked. Sarah said overwhelmed didn't begin to cover it. "The minute I was in his arms, he calmed me, as he always does."
That is most of what we would tell you about a first look. These are our notes on why we suggest one to nearly every couple, how we set it up, where we like to have it, and how it changes the shape of a wedding day.
What a First Look Is
A first look is a planned moment before the ceremony when the two of you see each other for the first time that day. Usually it is private. Sometimes a parent or a sister is close by, and we are always a short distance off with a long lens. The old rule about not seeing each other before the aisle has mostly gone. The planner Yifat Oren told Over The Moon that about 70 percent of her couples now choose one.
Why We Like a First Look
At the end of an aisle, everyone you know is watching you. On a first look, nobody is.
Charlotte had hers at her family's home in East Hampton, and she remembers it as the point where the nerves of the morning turned to calm.
Suze dreaded hers and did it anyway, mostly for the timeline. When she saw Matt in the garden at Southwood Estate, she ran to him. "He brings me calm and, as soon as I saw him, I was relaxed and ready to go."
Jessica described hers at Brooklyn Botanic Garden as a moment when everything seemed to stop and she could feel her heart pounding. Denny, who rarely loses his composure, fought back tears. You can see both of those things in the pictures, and neither would have happened in front of 200 people.
What a First Look Does to Your Timeline
Without a first look, every portrait of the two of you, the wedding party and your families has to fit between the ceremony and dinner. Often that means most of cocktail hour with us, while your guests have a drink without you. There are good ways around that, and we get to them below.
With one, most of those photographs are finished before anyone arrives. Sarah and James did their family photos before the ceremony and had cocktail hour to themselves. Sarah said the first look made the day feel "so much more relaxed and intentional." At Olivia and Tom's Chatham Bars Inn wedding, they saw each other on the lawn above the harbor at about two in the afternoon, made the wedding party and family pictures in the same spot, married at four and were at cocktails by five. Everyone got to the church already relaxed.
An early first look also protects the best light of the day. After Olivia and Jay met among the dahlias at Lambert's Cove Inn, there was still time after their ceremony to slip away to the beach for a few minutes, with the vows still ringing in their ears. Those minutes are some of our favorites from any wedding, and the first look is what made room for them.
Where to Have Your First Look
Look for a place with a little space around it and somewhere one of you can wait out of sight. These are some of the spots we have used:
A garden. Olivia and Jay among the dahlias at Lambert's Cove Inn on Martha's Vineyard, at the peak of the bloom.
Open land. Chandler and Chris in a field of tall golden grass on Nantucket, with Sankaty Head Light red and white on the horizon.
A courtyard. Logan and Justin by the stone fountain at Glynwood in Cold Spring. Emily and Berry in the cedar-slatted courtyard at 1 Hotel Brooklyn Bridge, partly on medium format film.
The water. Sarah and James on the pier outside Casa Cipriani.
A terrace. Missy and Vlad on a rooftop terrace at The Bowery Hotel, under a striped awning with a water tower behind them. They traded cards on the terraces too.
At a hotel, work out the route with the events team ahead of time. Ericka caught sight of Caleb for a split second on her way down to their first look at the Wythe, and the coordinator rushed her into the nearest room, which turned out to be the hotel office, full of people at work. It makes a good story. It is also easy to avoid.
How We Run a First Look
We like one of you set and still, and the other walking in. At Glynwood we put Haley beside a wall of ivy and let David walk to her: she was set, and he got the walk. After that we mostly stay out of the way. The first few minutes belong to the two of you, and the portraits come afterward in the same spot, while you are both still loose. Haley and David also used that quiet stretch before the ceremony to read their vows to each other privately.
Give the moment itself ten minutes or so, then leave room in the timeline for portraits right after it, and more if the wedding party and family are joining you there. On a hot day, plan a hair and makeup touch-up before the ceremony.
If You Would Rather Wait
Some couples want the aisle to be the first time, and we photograph that just as happily. Sunny and Evan skipped a first look at LongHouse Reserve and saved all of their photographs for after the ceremony. We kept it simple: a few family pictures, one large photo of the whole wedding party together, and then about thirty minutes wandering the gardens with the two of them before they joined cocktail hour.
Portraits Without a First Look
A first look isn't always the best light, either. In summer it often lands at midday, in harsh sun and the hottest part of the day. When that is the case, we spread the portraits out instead. A little time right after the ceremony. Five minutes dancing on the lawn during the reception. Another five or ten when you change into a second look for the party. You come away with portraits from every part of the day, in better light, and nobody misses much of their own wedding.
You can still have a private moment before the ceremony without seeing each other. Some couples trade letters through a door.
Questions Couples Ask About a First Look
Will it take something away from the aisle? In our experience the aisle lands just as hard. It is a different moment, with your families and friends around you, and it gets its own reaction.
Can our parents have one too? Yes. A first look with a father or a mother fits easily into the same hour, and it is often the most emotional picture of the morning.
What if we are nervous? Almost everyone is. Suze dreaded hers. Ask any couple who has done one, and they will usually tell you it was the calmest part of the day.
Planning Your Wedding Day Timeline
We're Trent and Dara, a husband-and-wife team in DUMBO, and we've been photographing weddings for almost twenty years, on 35mm and medium format film alongside digital. BRIDES named us one of the 50 best wedding photographers in the world. When we build a timeline with a couple, the first look is one of the first things we talk about, because so much of the day hangs on it. Reach out and tell us about yours.